The Cynic's Corner




Game Stuff



Hi. For those of you who don't know me, I'm deckerM, Duck's alter ego and sometimes philosopher, and this is where I plan on expounding my philosophy... (or more to the point take a slightly humorous, rather cynical view of the Shadowrun world)

ED's NOTE: The opinion's expressed here are not necessarily the views of sane individuals anywhere. As a matter of fact we suggest you take everything with a grain of salt.

(Actually I recommend several grains of salt... and the obligatory lick of lime and shot of Tequila!... and who is the 'ED' person anyway?

Current Commentary

We all know the important axioms...
Never make a deal with a dragon,
Never trust an elf...

These are all well known and well proven rules to follow, and the reasons are obvious and numerous. But what about some of the lesser known rules? What about the ones we've learned the hard way? Are they any less important?

So-- putting my years of experience to use I will share with you the other great axioms of the awakened world.

  1. NEVER polka with a Troll
    (unless the floor is reinforced and even then err on the side of caution) Slam dancing is probably a bad idea as well, and unless you're a glutton for punishment, lay off the mosh pit.
  2. Know your blood type
    Trust me, you live longer this way. If you're prone to violence and often in need of transfusions, consider getting it tattooed to your chest.
  3. Make sure at least one team member has either the same blood type or is a universal donor.
  4. When hiring a mage to back you up, make sure he/she knows at least one healing spell. Believe me, this is not the sort of thing you want to find out in the middle of a ‘situation'
  5. You can never have too much ammo.
  6. Get rich quick schemes really do work -
    if you're the one selling the scheme.
    (There's a reason its called a scheme)
  7. The food they serve in "Ork restaurants" is a joke to be used on tourists.
    Trust me, if you ever get a good home cooked "Ork Meal" its going to look a lot more like meatloaf than something you pulled out from under a dead log.
  8. No matter what people tell you, dragons do have a sense of humor.
    You just won't get it. Mainly because you, and what happens to you is what we would call the punch line, but also because well– they're dragons.
  9. Five letters to always keep in mind when doing business with anybody in the awakened world - SETUP.
    It usually is, and you're usually the one being setup.
  10. We all know not to pick fights with things that are bigger than we are, that goes without saying.
    What I'm telling you is– you can't tell who's bigger than you are until they thoroughly trounce you.
    Shape shifters can appear smaller, bugs have friends and magic is the great equalizer.
  11. You can't win, you can't get even and now more than ever– you can't get out of the game.
And so I leave you until the next time. Remember that everybody's your friend when you're buying and nobody likes soggy drinks. (And trust me about the Troll)

Previous commentaries

Keeping the proper level of cynicism
Making Plans
Stress - Worry
No matter how big you get
Negotiations Part 1
Negotiations Part 2
Specialization - Types of Runs.