Its almost midnight– the day long over, the next shift almost 6 hours away. Unable to sleep, I finally got up and flipped on the trid– watching the late night drivel, or pretending to...
Its New Year’s Eve: the year mark from when I arrived here. Sometimes it feels as if I was born the day I stepped off the plane. It was a long and difficult birth– but I’ve finally arrived.
I didn’t think beyond the year– I didn’t know what I would find. What I had hoped for came and went: what I never expected is here to stay.
I had it all planned out– but that’s no the way it works.
I have a life here– one that’s worth living. Worth more than I thought possible.
I don’t have the boys with me– and yet– they’re all here and well, as long as I remember and believe.
355 days, 53 minutes and 42 seconds worth of memories waiting for one brief second in time– and then it is all gone.
I’ve toasted the memories of Andrews, of Gwyneth, Fin... the boys. Friends, family– gone but not forgotten.
I can’t feel sorry for myself. I loved them and they’re gone– but they’re as near as a heartbeat. I can close my eyes and see them in my mind, but more importantly, I can open my eyes and see what I have before me. Case, the cats, Trina, Mario, the Walkers, Ray, Detective Young, Saunders, the crew... my family.
I’m finally home– and its all really just beginning.
Copyright 2000 - M.T. Decker